I asked myself, am I happy today?

Just for today, take a moment and ask yourself, are you happy?

Listen patiently for the feeling that will arise to let you know the answer. Once the answer is there, sit with it, let it be there without trying to dissect it and analyse it. It is there. Allow it.

What does it take for you to be happy, right now, in this very moment? Even as we begin to think about what it is that makes us happy, we are ultimately separating ourselves from the very answer. By thinking about it, we loose it. To be happy we must it drop all the nagging compulsive worries, complaints, judgements and criticisims, all that useless negative baggage must go. It has no place here. It serves absolutely no purpose in improving our lives. So why, why do we allow it to persist?

I know that when I allow this behaviour to persist, I am not in a positive place, I am not happy, I am not loving myself. I have been there. It wasn’t pleasant. So I decided to make changes. While I was growing up, I always felt a deep dark sense that I was not a good person. I still don’t know exactly the origin of this, I cannot trace it roots but it plagued me for a long time. I wanted to change. I began a long journey about 10 years ago to do just that and now I am back where I started (geographically) and things are finally starting to make sense. I breath a sigh of relief as I type. It came down to something very simple, I didn’t know how to live. I didn’t understand my feelings and emotions, my mind, it was wild, the zoo keeper left the grounds a long time ago. I belived that I was responsible for my mind, for my judgements, for my random negativities, so I suffered. This drove me to go on a journey of adventure and investigation and through meditation I began to find answers that finally quenched my thirst and quietened my voice of dissatisfaction, leaving me contented, at ease and most of all, leaving me just here and not trying to get over there.

Being self critical is the best way to harden your heart and extinguish your joy for living. It is a negative addictive pattern that pulls you away from the beauty of life, you fall down a black hole without a rope. The rope is the necessary tool that will lead us to salvation. Just as the ancient knowledge of mindfulness is our tool, our road to salvation. We have the tool and it is up to us to learn how to use it but not only to use it, to master it. Empower yourself. Shine. Love. Let go. Nothing is in your control, there is absolutely no security in anything in this world, embrace it. Free yourself. Stand up to negativity and show it the door. This is your responsibilty.

If you feed a stray dog today, next week it’ll be curling up on your couch, making itself at home. You invited it in, you fed it, you allowed it to keep coming back. Now you have a dog.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s